Saturday, September 29, 2012

Worry.Breathe.Repeat

My daughter is sixteen. With this rite of passage comes so much worry for me that sometimes I forget to breathe. Like yesterday. She had plans. Plans that didn't include me or her dad. Plans that included friends and her car and night and interstate driving.

Breathe.


Breathe.

I struggled with worry before she turned sixteen. I'm a worrier. Not sure why, but I just am, so any little thing can set my mind into a frenzy. Whether it's questioning something I said or something I did or didn't do. Whether it's worrying about the past or the future or today. Give me anything to worry about, even a wisp of a worry, and I will claim it.

So I'm having to learn how to live in a home that includes a sixteen-year-old daughter with keys and car. I'm having to learn how to give her space to grow up and to be independent. I'm having to trust that she will find her way to her friend's house, in the dark, and that she will be back here the next day. Safe and sound.

I do turn things over to God. Often. Sometimes I pull the worry back from him and stew in it for a little while. But then I send it back to him on angels' wings. When I do this. When I send my worries to God and place them in His hands, I relax. My mind is free from worry. I find peace. I breathe.

And I continue to trust Him with her precious life and tell myself that everything will be okay. I have to, so I can breathe.

9 comments:

Lisa Gordon said...

Oh, I do know how this feels, and unfortunately I can tell you that it does not change much. Mine are now 23 and 24, and I still worry about as much as I did when they were 16. :-(

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
xo.

Emily Sovich said...

Send your worries to God, yes,..but also make sure she calls you when she gets there! :-)

Oof, sixteen!

beth said...

you're a normal mom with normal worries and giving them to god is a good thing.

my sister is surviving on her faith right now and truly believes that with her son dying instantly in a car crash, that it was all part of god's plan in the first place. she continues to say, "god is good. god is so good."

she reminded us all that we are only here for a certain amount of time and god decides when that time is up. she said, "it;s that simple" and obviously he was ready for and needed a new angel. just one, as the driver of the dump truck was unharmed.

she amazes me with her strength through all this...and i know you'll find the strength to watch your daughter test her new found wings....xo

Daniel LaFrance said...

Being a Mom has to be the toughest job there is.

I'm the father to 5 grown children and I know my wife worries about even today. We have 3 girls and 2 boys.

Keep breathing.

McMGrad89 said...

Driving!! Yikes. I can barely let her ride her bike a mile to school let alone drive. Nope...not for a while.

miruspeg said...

It is a Mum's job to worry Roban no matter how old they are, it is natural part of parenthood.

But keep in mind that worry magnifies our problems and then distorts our perspective so we can’t think logically or clearly about them.

Much love
Peggy ♥♥♥

Relyn Lawson said...

Isn't that just the hardest thing? Trusting God with our kids, I mean. I want to snuggle 'em up tight and keep them wrapped in bubble wrap - protected in heart, mind, and body. It's tough. And driving? YIKES!

Emily Wierenga said...

you are such a good mama, friend. i love your heart.

T said...

I'm taking my youngest son to the DMV for his learner's test today. And even though I've been through this twice before, I'm not thrilled about this.

Reading this post was timely. My heart has a bit more peace having stopped by here.